Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards
Grandma Beats Up Airport Security Guards
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Charges were dropped yesterday against Ruth Grammy Gordon, an 83-year-old wheelchair-bound grandmother, who was originally charged with assault and battery, and assault with a deadly weapon, because of an altercation she had last week with six airport security guards, that left all six hospitalised.
Justice has been served, said the 95-pound mother of three and grandmother of six, as she sat in her wheelchair, aided in her breathing by an oxygen bottle. Now Im going to sue every fool in the federal government for ignorance, stupidity, and just plain general incompetence. Im an American, and I wont be treated like this.
The problem began last month as Gordon was attempting to board an airplane. These guys are supposed to be some kind of professionals, she said, but theyre dumber than rocks. Here they were letting guys who looked just like terrorists walk through without searching them, and then they pull me aside and tell me theyre going to search me? I dont think so.
According to one witness, Bud Cort of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, one guard, who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his shirt out, told this woman she couldnt board the plane unless they searched her. He was really rude. Thats when the trouble started.
Videotapes showed that Gordon ran the guard down with her motorized wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning her chair in circles. Doofus was so fat he couldnt get up, said Gordon with a giggle.
One guard who attempted to pull Gordons wheelchair off of the screaming man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked unconscious. A third guard, who approached Gordon from the front, was also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said she was cackling, Put your hands on an old lady, will you? as she bashed both guards. The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Gordons wheelchair. Gordon removed a knitting needle from her purse and stabbed him in his left buttock. What a wimp, she told reporters. He started screaming and grabbing his butt and running like a puppy that someone kicked.
It was amazing, said another witness, a Scott Ryan. The whole crowd just stood there cheering and clapping. I mean, she was whupping butt.
A fifth guard that attempted to grab Gordon had the seat of his pants set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. He just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all these flames flying out of his rear, said Ryan.
A sixth guard did finally manage to get Gordon in a body hug. I think that was the wrong thing to do, said another witness, who declined to be identified. She just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand and cracked him across the jaw with her skinny fist. And down and out he went.
After all this, Gordons chair was still sitting on top of the first guard.
The tapes clearly showed her leaning over and yelling, Apologize to me, you fat sumbitch, or when Im done with you youll just be a greasy spot on the floor!
cJustice has been served, said the 95-pound mother of three and grandmother of six, as she sat in her wheelchair, aided in her breathing by an oxygen bottle. Now Im going to sue every fool in the federal government for ignorance, stupidity, and just plain general incompetence. Im an American, and I wont be treated like this.
The problem began last month as Gordon was attempting to board an airplane. These guys are supposed to be some kind of professionals, she said, but theyre dumber than rocks. Here they were letting guys who looked just like terrorists walk through without searching them, and then they pull me aside and tell me theyre going to search me? I dont think so.
According to one witness, Bud Cort of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio, one guard, who weighed about 300 pounds, looked like he was drunk, and had his shirt out, told this woman she couldnt board the plane unless they searched her. He was really rude. Thats when the trouble started.
Videotapes showed that Gordon ran the guard down with her motorized wheelchair, then sat on top of the screaming man while spinning her chair in circles. Doofus was so fat he couldnt get up, said Gordon with a giggle.
One guard who attempted to pull Gordons wheelchair off of the screaming man from behind was hit over the head with an oxygen bottle and knocked unconscious. A third guard, who approached Gordon from the front, was also left dazed on the floor. Witnesses said she was cackling, Put your hands on an old lady, will you? as she bashed both guards. The tape also showed a fourth guard attempting to grab Gordons wheelchair. Gordon removed a knitting needle from her purse and stabbed him in his left buttock. What a wimp, she told reporters. He started screaming and grabbing his butt and running like a puppy that someone kicked.
It was amazing, said another witness, a Scott Ryan. The whole crowd just stood there cheering and clapping. I mean, she was whupping butt.
A fifth guard that attempted to grab Gordon had the seat of his pants set on fire with a cigarette lighter than had escaped detection. He just went whoosh across the concourse, screaming and slapping at all these flames flying out of his rear, said Ryan.
A sixth guard did finally manage to get Gordon in a body hug. I think that was the wrong thing to do, said another witness, who declined to be identified. She just grabbed him by his greasy hair with one hand and cracked him across the jaw with her skinny fist. And down and out he went.
After all this, Gordons chair was still sitting on top of the first guard.
The tapes clearly showed her leaning over and yelling, Apologize to me, you fat sumbitch, or when Im done with you youll just be a greasy spot on the floor!
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